Change the Intent of Your Goals, Change Your Life
Art by Liliana Porter (Man with Axe - Venice 2017)
It's that time of the year when we review what we have accomplished in the year and start setting goals for the upcoming year.
Many of us have the good practice of thinking through the CONTENT of our goals and making them solid and SMART (Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, and Time-Bound.)
But, to what extent do we ask ourselves about the INTENT of our goals?
While pursuing graduate studies, I set a goal to manage a global business in a large international firm. Then I added a timeline to it - I wanted to be there by the age of 40.
Then, for many years, I diligently managed my career to develop various functional skills and leadership competencies required of a global general manager. I worked triple hard. I took every assignment that was most challenging and best serving the desired career path. In quite some years, I was only in my home city with family on weekends. I prioritized career over all else in life. I sacrificed many things - because I was very goal driven.
Then, guess what?
I achieved that goal! Right when I was turning 40.
Sitting at the peak of the little mountain that I had set my little eyes on, I expected sustained happiness, bliss, and fulfillment...
...and that "happily thereafter" feeling after one reaches an ultimate destination.
Yet, that didn't happen.
Instead, I felt a sense of void and disappointment. Deep inside, I yearned for more.
Many years ago, a mentor asked me why I wanted to be a general manager. I shrugged it off, thinking why he would even ask a question like that. Of course, I wanted to be a general manager! Many of my MBA friends want to be general managers, many of the senior leaders I admired were global general managers...
Sitting at the peak of that little mountain that I had set my little eyes on, I realized that I never questioned the deeper "Why" behind my goal.
After setting the Big Hairy Audacious Goal (aka BHAG), I put up blinders around me and started the single-minded pursuit of that one goal, for 20 years.
After a while, the goal took on a life of its own. I simply had to achieve that goal. I felt that I needed to prove myself. As an immigrant, maybe I wanted to prove that I could survive and thrive in a foreign land.
Looking back, I think it may have been my ego that dedicated 20 years of my life to a goal of a particular job title.
Please don't take me wrong. I had a phenomenal career and I am eternally grateful for the amazing experiences - both ups and downs. It is those experiences that to a large extent made me who I am today!
You see, when my goal was to achieve a job title, even though I was making all kinds of contributions, my INTENT was for me to GET something I wanted.
Through a long journey of deep reflections, soul-searching, and many dark moments, I realized that I had to challenge my old identity. I felt compelled to GIVE back to the world with my unique experiences and skills, by evaluating what I am most passionate about and what I am best at.
As my INTENT changed, my life transformed. Both professionally and personally.
Now, I feel thriving!
Now, I set goals to honor a balanced life.
Now, I measure my success by what I can GIVE (what value I bring) vs. what I can GET. What I get is simply a result of adding value to others.
Sitting here today and looking back at the past 20 years, if I asked myself the WHY question and deeply connected with my INTENT, I may have still decided to want to become a general manager, but my experience in the journey could have been very different.
So, be careful about the goals we set, and WHY we set them!
For you, what GOALS will you set for the new year and beyond? What is your INTENT? What about goals for your team and your organization?
As you set your new year's goals with your INTENT, I'd like to offer you a small but powerful gift. I invite you to request a download of this complimentary "Priority and Focus Planning Calendar" that has helped me stay focused on my goals throughout the year. Let me know what you think, and share good tools you use to stay focused.
Resources:
- "Start with Why" by Simon Sinek
- “What got you here won’t get you there” by Executive Coach Marshall Goldsmith. In this book, goal obsession is one of the 21 habits that hold highly successful people back.
Growth Opportunities: Contact me to discuss what YOU are most passionate about and what YOU are the best at, and what dreams you want to make come true.